The Wedding and the Hurricane :: Before the Ceremony

The day of the wedding I was too nervous to stomach anything but a mint chocolate chip milkshake. Probably because I hadn't yet finished writing our table settings!!

I am beyond excited to start sharing the photos from our wedding!! I hope you don't mind photo overload because I find it impossible to commit to being subtle and selecting just a few. And also, our wedding day comes with a long story, so I feel like I need to paint you a full picture. 

When Adam and I started organising our wedding, the one and only decision I made with absolute certainty throughout the entire process was who I wanted to be our photographer. Olivia Rae James is pretty much my dream photographer! She's always been such an inspiration to me and she shoots weddings so beautifully - it had to be her. If only I could have been so decisive with everything else... 

The entire week and a half that I had been in Bermuda before the wedding, the weather had been so beautiful. Bright and breezy days, clear nights with a full moon, stars as far as the eye could see, exactly the kind of weather you would want for your wedding. My mum and I kept on saying, "if the wedding was tonight, this weather would be perfect" - who knows, maybe we jinxed it. 

A few days before the wedding, our caterers came over for a last minute look around and planning session. They said they had been tracking the weather and there was a 90% chance of rain the evening of our wedding, we should probably go ahead and put up tents. I was sad because I had pictured a beautiful, open-air dinner with lights strung between the palm trees and the tree frogs peeping away in the background. I find it funny now to look back and think about how I was a little sad about the tents, because in the end we didn't actually need them!

The morning of the wedding I woke up, saw how grey the sky was, and declared I wasn't getting out of bed until the weather had improved it's attitude. Adam went off to have coffee with his parents and came back at around 8:30 and sat on the bed next to me. I rolled over and honestly by the look on his face I thought someone had died - it was one of those "just tell me!!!" moments because he couldn't get the words out. As it happens, we didn't need the tents because our caterers had to take them down. There was a tropical storm heading for Bermuda and they weren't insured to have tents up in such high winds. Because of the placement of the tents, there was a good chance that the wind could pick them up and blow them straight through the windows of my grandfathers house. The location we had been planning and decorating for months was just not an option anymore. We needed to change venue...

Suddenly everything went crazy. Our caterer was on his way to pick us up and take us to a venue he could offer us on short notice. My mum was on the phone to Morgan, my maid of honor, and Eve, Sara Jane and Kate, my other bridesmaids, to come over as quickly as possible. Groomsmen arrived on an army of scooters and started to stuff decorations into plastic bags to move them. The alcohol that was taking up most of the garage had to be sent back. The tents were being taken down along with the lights and speakers. It was all organised chaos and I was just in shock, I didn't know what to make of it!

When we saw our new venue, I didn't really take any of it in. Thank goodness we had hired a wedding planner to help with coordination on the day because she was already at the venue when we arrived and immediately jumped in and started negotiating for all the extra benefits she could get from the manager. 

Looking at these photos, you would never be able to tell, would you? We all look so happy and stress free, like we had planned on the tropical storm all along! As I was getting ready and putting my dress on, I completely let go of everything. I wasn't in control of anything anymore and there wasn't anything I could do. Every time I thought of something and said, "MUM!!! WHAT ABOUT THE....", she just said "it's already done". What a superwoman. 

Adam and I decided to have a "first look" before the ceremony. Neither of us could take any more emotion than we had already had to deal with that day. If we had to see each other for the first time walking down the aisle I don't think either of us could have held it together. As it is, I think we did pretty well! I'll carry on with the story tomorrow...

Wedding Dress and Bridesmaid Dresses :: BHLDN, Gold Orchid Hair Ornaments :: Twigs & Honey, My Shoes :: Kurt Geiger, Wedding Rings :: WeAreArrow, Adams Suit :: Suit Supply, Adams Tie :: The Bay

We all Start as Strangers

This is why I love blogging so much, it just acts as a magnet to bring like-minded and simply wonderful people into your life. A couple of weeks ago I met up with Rocio who was over visiting from Mallorca with her husband.

I've met Rocio before when she came to meet me at work and we went for a coffee around the corner from my office. One hour just isn't enough when you're meeting one of your favourite bloggers for the first time, so we decided to catch up next time she was visiting.

We did Brick Lane from top to bottom, Columbia Road, Hackney City Farm, and then home for tea and Molly cuddles. I love introducing Molly to people who have read about her on the blog because she doesn't disappoint, she loves everyone like they're her long lost relative.

I will always be so grateful to this little space of mine, it has brought me so much joy and so many new friends and experiences. 

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How to :: Deal With Difficult People

{from}

Sometimes life throws you together with people who really get you down. I've never really had much tolerance for problems I can't solve. If I don't like something I cut it loose and leave it behind, or I change it. But I can't just sit with it, because it's all I can focus on and think about. I'm not so good at just letting stuff go, I'm a problem solver. It's just who I am.

But what happens when the problem can't be solved? You're stuck with it, or someone, and you just have to deal. The solution doesn't rest in your hands to make a change, and you just have to... live with it. 

The idea of just 'living with it' gives me the shivers, but that's just life. You can't control everything! So I've come up with some plans for making peace with people or things that you are just stuck with.

1 :: Remind yourself it isn't forever. Chances are the situation will pass eventually, even if it's weeks, months, or years. It isn't forever. 

2 :: Remind yourself that you're aiming to make peace with it. Every day, ten times a day if necessary, say "this is out of my control, I can't do anything to change it, it is not my responsibility". Just remembering that there isn't anything you should be doing helps to alleviate some of the frustration and pressure.

3 :: Remind yourself that there may be more to the situation than you are aware of. There may be contributing factors that you don't know about, that if you did, may make you feel differently. You can't know everyone's story, so try a little compassion, even if it's hard... so, so hard.

4 :: Remind yourself that you may unwittingly be feeding the situation with your own insecurities. As much as it pains me to admit it, I'm starting to believe more and more that the traits that frustrate us the most in other people, are the ones that we dislike most in ourselves. That doesn't at all mean you should blame yourself, but I think there's a lot of sense in taking some time to really think about why this person, thing or situation is really bothering you.

5 :: Remind yourself that you're a good person, and you do good things. This one has helped me most of all. If I repeat to myself that I'm a good person and I try my best, it really calms me down. Sometimes I forget that the solution doesn't always rest with me, and because I'm unable to solve the problem, I'm failing myself.

6 :: Minimise the time and interaction you have with the person that's bringing you down. This might seem obvious, but sometimes annoyances can make you confrontational, and that means you invest more time and energy hammering away at a problem you can't change. If you have to have this person or problem in your life, minimise the contact.

Have I missed any tips? How do you deal with difficult people. 

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Just a Moment :: Twenty Two

1 :: I finally picked up the candle I've been eyeing ever since October at Netil Market, it makes our whole house smell like apple pie, and you know how fond I am of pie!

2 :: Maybe not the most thrilling thing in the world, but after about a year and a half I finally figured out that there was a much easier way for me to get into work than the route I have been taking for so long. Anything that makes the dreaded commute a little easier is a win in my books.

3 :: Meeting lovely blogger friends for brunch at Dishoom over the weekend. I cannot reiterate enough how much I love blogging for bringing these girls into my life, they are just the most wonderful people. 

4 :: I'm in full blown Jane Eyre mode, I only just started reading it this week, curled up on the sofa in a blanket with my new candle burning. It's moments like these that make the cold weather just so glorious.

5 :: We saw The Staves play the final show of their tour in London a little while ago. I think we've seen them three or four times now and each time they give me goosebumps. Their music is lovely, but live they are just something else. 

Other things I've been enjoying this week:

:: The daily email newsletter from theSkimm - I just love the way they package current events, so digestible. 

:: I took this Skillshare class on documentary photography by Ami Vitale - you know, just the most amazing National Geographic photographer there is? It was really good :)

:: I had my first Starbucks gingerbread latte this week - that was a pretty special moment.

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Wellbeing :: Thoughts on 'Letting Yourself Go'

freya.dowson

Leading up to Bermuda and our wedding, I was on a pretty strict health kick. I was going to the gym three times a week, doing yoga every night, I cut out carbs in most meals, and most importantly I was actually sticking to it, and I felt great!

In Bermuda I was just too nervous and stressed to eat very much at all, of course this made me feel tired and more than a little run down. And then when we got to New York I was determined to eat all the food and drink all the coffee and not give a damn - which I did!

Now that I'm back to my daily life in London, I've kind of kept on with my New York not giving a damn feeling. I eat what I want, when I want and I couldn't care less how my clothes fit - I'm just loving having a stress free time!

But, and there's a big BUT (no pun intended, kind of), I feel like garbage. I'm going out more with friends, having long dinners and lots of cocktails, but I feel just a bit less settled within myself than I did before. I'm tired, I can't concentrate, I can sleep for 11 hours at a time, I have a cough that just won't go away... It wasn't that long ago that I was super healthy and full of the energy I needed to get stuff done. Now my body has become a garbage bin for all my cravings and don't-give-a-damn whims. I've let myself go completely, and while it's nice to not give in to the pressure of trying to cultivate a bikini body, it's also not so nice to feel unhealthy.

Starting now I'm looking to find a balance between giving my body and mind what it needs to be healthy and happy, while not feeling stressed if I accidentally eat pizza three days in a row (yea, that sometimes happens). So here's a list of things I'm planning to do in the next few weeks to help myself become a little more healthy...

:: Investigate some affordable healthy eating options, because why is it that junk food is so much cheaper than healthy food?

:: Find a yoga class near me and be well rested enough on a Saturday morning to go.

:: Bring green smoothies back into my life.

:: If I'm lazing around watching tv, just start from the basics with yoga and just try to get moving - because when did saying to yourself "starting now I'm going to go to the gym every day" ever work? I think you can become the sort of person who exercises daily, but not overnight.

I'll update you on my progress as I go along, tell you what's working for me and what's not, and let you know how I manage to find that balance between care-free and feeling great.

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