How has it been five months since I sat down and wrote a proper catch up post? Truthfully I thought it was just the other week, but when I looked back through my archives I realised it was actually June!
But thinking back, I’m not surprised. Time has been playing tricks on me lately and I’ve been running around trying to keep on top of things. Do you ever go through periods of time where you get so focused on working that you don’t take the time to sit up and notice what’s going on around you? I think those head-up moments really ground you, and when you forget to pause and breathe in you just don’t get the opportunity to be grounded. You don’t get to stick pins in the map of your life so when you look back you can remember the moments that count. Instead you’re swept along and suddenly it’s autumn and you don’t quite remember how you got there – sort of like falling asleep at the wheel.
Usually this time of year will find me writing depressing thoughts on the end of summer and the cold months ahead, but this year I’m feeling completely the opposite. Thank GOODNESS it’s cold again, I can spend time indoors again, and running around is replaced with conserving heat and keeping cosy.
This summer was a weird one, full of being really hard on myself and feeling like I just wasn’t doing enough. That combined with a hectic travel schedule and I feel like I’m skidding into November face first with a sense of confusion but also relief that I finally feel like I can relax.
Sometimes I suck at being grounded, living with my whole heart, doing yoga, wearing makeup and not eating pizza for every meal. But who doesn’t go through moments like that in their life? Sometimes we just have to let things fall apart so we can build them back up again in a way that we prefer. Sometimes old things stop working and they need to be replaced.
That’s why I’m so excited for this winter. I’ll be grounded, my travel is minimal, and I’ll have plenty of time to kick some nasty habits. I’ve already started and if only it was as easy as just deciding to give up looking at Instagram every five seconds, or deciding to give up pizza – and just like that you’re a grounded person who isn’t addicted to social media and junk food. Nope. It’s hard. It’s constant reminders, constantly tripping up, and constantly giving yourself room to keep going.
Last night I decided to bring it back to basics and start my yoga practice from the beginning, I really feel the need to take it easy on myself and this felt so good. I started this 30 days of yoga program and I could feel how grateful my body was to just do some easy stretching.
On Monday I went to the shop and stocked my fridge with veggies and have been roasting and making vegetable stews ever since.
I’ve been keeping away from scrolling social media and mindlessly watching tv, but sometimes it’s the only way my mind knows how to relax so it’s a slow transition. But now I have months of editing work ahead of me so it’s important that I not spend all of my time in front of a screen.
And I’m working on letting my heart decide what it wants. Or listening to my body and letting it decide how much yoga it wants to do. But part of me is still crossing my fingers for when my body decides it wants a pizza again…
Oh and p.s. I started a facebook page for my photography, here’s the link: www.facebook.com/freyadowson