Some photos from our trip to Canada this summer, and some thoughts on making decisions.
I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve written anything of any length that I’ve almost forgotten how to write! My ability to put down words is nothing short of temperamental at the moment, and sometimes the mood hits and other times I’m left staring at a blank screen, and then wandering off to make a snack and think about it another day. I’ve become the master of putting things off lately, not because I’m being lazy, but because sometimes that’s the only way I can cope. I put an absurd amount of pressure on myself and the burden of that is sometimes paralysing – in the urge to make myself make decisions, I just don’t. I freeze and then get mad at myself for failing.
So taking the pressure off by telling myself “it’s ok, you don’t need to decide right now” has worked so well for me over the past few months. I’ve just drifted along in a sea of doing things when they “feel right”. And for these past few beautiful summer months I have lived almost pressure free, with only a few lapses into stressful thoughts.
And now that we’re nearing the end of summer and I’ve given myself a good solid break from making any decisions, I now find that I don’t feel like I need to put things off as much anymore. I’ve gone from feeling like I need to give myself some room to breathe, to feeling like it’s time to stop worrying and just go with my gut right in the moment.
I’m so surprised that making quick decisions can feel as liberating as allowing myself room to decide. But as much as I crave solid rules for life and living (the title of my future memoir – jokes!), the best thing I feel I can keep in mind is that each situation is going to require me to act differently. Sometimes I’m going to have to pause and tell myself “it’s ok, you don’t have to decide right now”, and other times I’m going to have to tell myself, “don’t look, just leap”.
There are no sold rules for life and living, there is only being patient with yourself and taking the time to know when you need to pause, and when you need to run.