A couple of weeks ago I was reading this post on Michelle's blog On The Adventure (check it out, it's one of my favorites, she's just great) and it asked the question: "Passions. What's yours? I'd love to know what inspires you to stay tremendously interested. What passion is going to change the world!?".
I responded mentioning something vaguely about my passion for pie, and then I listed a few other things like my work, and I added to the list a passion for healthy thinking. Then followed an email chat between Michelle and I about what healthy thinking is and why it's so important. Then I thought, maybe it would make an interesting blog post! So here goes:
I have bad thinking habits. Really bad. I've been prone to worry pretty much since I knew how to worry. An ambiguous comment, the tone in someone's voice, some kinds of music, or even nothing at all can set me off on a path of nonsensical mental ramblings about things that never have and probably never will happen. The worst is the mental arguments I have with people. I think arguing or debating with someone in your mind (who you know, not who you've made up!) is normal - but I had four pretty serious mental debates with different people before breakfast this morning.
Ever since I was young I've had this bad habit of injuring myself and then immediately thinking of how that injury could have been so much worse, and then my mind will think of that potential terrible injury in gory, painful detail, and that will cause me to pass out. It doesn't happen all the time, but the tiniest cut has the ability to make me pass out cold.
Out of control thoughts and the resulting self-induced stress (or loss of consciousness) I think has always been my biggest downfall in life, so lately I've started making a concerted effort to focus on healthy thinking. I try really hard to stop a mental rant before it happens, or to tell myself that not being bothered to dry my hair at night is not a reflection on who I am and the way I approach life. I'm working on thinking about happier things, upcoming vacations or plans for this little blog of mine, rather than worrying about office politics or the tiny stresses in life so much.
I'm going to try to do more exercise to clear my silly little brain of all it's clutter. You know, I set up a weekly yoga class at my office over a year ago. I never go though, I just organise it, I'm too worried I have too many chores to do. So I'm actually going to start going to my own yoga class. I'm taking more time during the day to actually eat meals, or make cups of tea - and just do that, not try to multi-task so much.
All of these little things, they're actually working. I mean, worrying and unhealthy thoughts are a habit of a lifetime and are hard to break, but my mind seems to want so badly to free itself of it's own torment that it seems to be making a concerted effort to shut up and give me some peace sometimes.
So, my passion these days is taking care of my thoughts and ultimately my own health and happiness. Once I have my thinking a little bit more within my own control I honestly think that there won't be anything I can't do. And maybe this is a passion that won't change the world, but it will definitely change my world.
What are your passions? Is it a personal one like mine? Or something bigger? If you write a post about it feel free to use that image up there and just link it back - also, let me know, I would love to read it.