Kill Them With Kindness


killing them with kindness - it can sometimes feel like a litter of puppies all biting and scratching and pulling on your hair, but you just love them anyway, and you can't help but smile.

This morning our new sofa got delivered at 8am. Three delivery men showed up, took one look at our front door and proclaimed there was no way it was ever going to fit. Adam, ever the optimist, said he thought that the sofa could easily go through our livingroom window... If you're in the UK you'll know what I mean when I say that the moving men looked at each other darkly and muttered something about "health and safety". Basically the said "no, we're not doing that".

Now here's where Adam and I differ. Whenever I think someone is being unreasonable  unhelpful or unkind, I immediately get ready to defend myself, fight my corner if necessary, and demand justice - that sofa was really expensive!

Adam on the other hand... the lovely man breaks out in a big smile and is all "aaaaw I understand guys", all calling them "mate" and "buddy" (because when you're a Canadian living in the UK you can say both those things). He's standing there brazenly THANKING them for their help! If you can even believe it. We all knew they were being anything but helpful.

Then, to my amazement, the moving men actually started to laugh and smile and say that they knew they shouldn't but they would give the window a go anyway - "don't tell our boss". Less than five minutes later Adam was cheerfully unwrapping our new sofa in the livingroom while I was still standing there, tights in hand (because I was still getting dressed), trying to figure out where to channel the adrenaline that I had been building up to prepare me to argue with these three men who had by this time driven off.

This always seems to happen. Whenever faced with adverse circumstances, unhelpful and even sometimes quite rude people, Adam always sets out to make them smile while I set out to make them see what's what. I was raised not to take any rubbish from anyone and to be wary of people taking advantage. Adam just doesn't think that way; and yet, he's still not a pushover. Maybe there's something in that?

What's your opinion? Is it better to stick up for yourself, or kill them with kindness: laugh and joke until whoever is in your way breaks into a smile and cheers up enough to let their new friend pass?