Without Rhyme or Reason




So much in life seems to have no rhyme or reason. What we find beautiful, what we find ugly. Who we fall in love with and when, how or why. How we have ended up where we sit right now, today - sometimes it seems like a collection of random events which bring us to a moment in time that passes by all too quickly.

My days can feel like that sometimes. Blurred and random. How I feel about my life, my day, myself - it's all subject to change at any given moment.

But one moment is always the same. One moment can always be relied upon to keep coming round again and again. In that moment I am always content.

Every morning is the same. My alarm goes off at the same time as Adam's and we lay in bed for a bit trying to pull ourselves out of sleep. I always roll over and try to absorb some of his warmth before jumping out into the chilly morning air and we always lay there for longer than we should, preparing ourselves for the day. He always says "do you need to use the bathroom?", even though he knows I do, but that's my cue to brush my teeth and wash my face before he takes a shower. But I always say "no" and just lie there, clinging on to him a little tighter. A few minutes later he pretends to make a move to get up and I leap out of bed so I don't miss my bathroom spot, event though I know I won't. Taking a moment to decide just how freezing I am after the warmth of the blanket and wonder if I'll need slippers for the bathroom tiles, I make my way down the hall. After doing all I need to do, I go back into the bedroom and before Adam can get out of bed for his turn in the shower I jump under the covers again. He moves over a little so that I can curl up oh his side of the bed and have one last little bit of morning cuddle before he realises he's going to miss his train if he doesn't hurry up.

The rest of the day is sometimes a coin toss, and how I feel about how the coin lands is determined by... what? I've never really understood. But that one reliable moment eases the difficulty of all the unreliable moments that come or go without rhyme or reason throughout the day.